Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a daily moment by moment choice. I used to hope I could make a massive thought shift one day and I'm set for life. ha Wishful thinking for this recovering perfectionist! Every single day is new, new thoughts, emotions, desires, feelings, and senses. I used to expect myself to be inspired every day especially after having 1 ultra inspired and productive day. Then when morning came and with it dull and uninspired feelings I'd feel shame for not being able to recreate the previous day or days.

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I Forgive Myself For Who I Was Yesterday.

Making a habit of repeating this mantra has completely changed my inner world! I used to have a running list of all my screw-ups whether they were real or perceived. These were screw-ups from the past years, months, days and down to the past minutes.

Screw-ups as minor as: I could have worded things differently, I ate food beyond my full point, to bigger ones such as: I was harsh in my reaction or I intentionally slid in that passive aggressive comment. It was chaotic and painful reliving the screw-ups and feeling the intense shame over and over again! I spend years trying to "renew" my mind, replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones only to realize I'm replacing the same damn thoughts over and over without them actually going away. I was merely covering them up for maybe a few hours or days until the thought would show up once again.

I Forgive Myself For Who I Was Yesterday.

I forget how I came across this, whether from a teaching or one of those random inspired thoughts I happened to latch onto before it floated away. However it came about, it has thankfully stuck with me. I actively choose forgiveness, I say I forgive myself until I feel it in my bones. It's not enough to utter the words. Same as in a relationship saying "sorry" isn't enough if I don't actually own what I did. Owning the thing I did actively enables the other person to forgive me. In this way I actively own my screw-up and feel the affects of it, the way it's holding me back from being all that I can be. I embody forgiving myself. I can tell when I've truly forgiven myself when I have peace where there used to be pain, shame, and chaos. Ahhhhh nothing in the world can replicate Peace!

"I Forgive Myself For Who I Was Yesterday"

I Let Go...

I let go of shame

I let go of anxiety

I let go of all the shoulds

I let go and choose grace

and lightheartedness

and freedom

and peace

and every other good thing

I let go and release the old me from my own judgement.

I choose to be Mindful with the thoughts that race through my mind. Choosing which ones I'll dwell on, which ones to address as I recognize it's the same thought I've had for the past month. Recognizing it's time to get to the bottom of it. To see what it has been trying to tell me about myself this whole time and now I'm finally hearing it for the first time.

I am becoming a more mindful person.